


Roses Grow in Winter

by Vonniexxx



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), jon snow and robb stark
Genre: Blood Drinking, Explicit Sexual Content, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Secrets, Sexual Identity, Touching, Underage Sex, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2018-12-12 13:42:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11738247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vonniexxx/pseuds/Vonniexxx
Summary: "My brother, he once told me about how he saw roses sprout threw the winter snow.""Jon that's impossible, roses don't grow in winter." Tyrion said in disbelief, but in every word held such fascination still.Jon smiled but his eyes were distant. "You know I didn't believe him until I saw them for myself. All the while he held my hand and pulled me to a mirror.""Ah so you were his winter rose, or was your brother just simply enticed?" Jon looked up with a smirk"Maybe a bit of both.





	1. Edge of Seventeen

Jon POV

 

I couldn't breath, all I could do was laugh an run away from Theon.  This was one of the few times I could ever have fun with him. I stole his sword after a battle and now I was being chased by him. I ran inside my bedroom but he flew in behind me closing the door. I laughed myself silly, Thyion locked the door and pushed me on the bed. He then did something strange. He had never done something like this before.

He crawled on top of me and he licked his lips panting hard. 

"Your doing it on purpose now bastard."

"Doing what? Besting you?"

"Being a little cock tease."

My eyes grew big, Excuse me? "M-me a cock tease? I think you've got the wrong idea."

"Do I?" 

 

His hand massaged up and down my now growing erection. 

"Ah your insulting me-your only half hard maybe if I was your brother you be screaming by now." Theon untied my pants and I pulled back grabbing his hand.

"Stop I don't want this-you don't even like me." 

"I don't have to like you to fuck you. Your a pretty face, prettier than most girls."

  
"Fuck off!" Jon pulled away and Theon pined his hands over his head. Jon kneed him good.

"Ahh! You little fucking cunt!" Jon unlocked the door. 

"Leave." Jon said, Theon limped out the door. "Your going to regret not letting me fuck you. Bastard." 

* * *

* * *

Once he left I was alone. I changed the sheets quickly as if I had something to hide. I don't know why it was just the sheer thought of  _Theon_ on top of him touching him that made him sick. It shouldn't be him it will never be him.

He got in bed and what Theon said angered him. "half hard maybe if I was your brother you be screaming by now"  _How did he know? How does he know? I'm six teen years old and I've never bedded a women before. Is that why he assumed? Do more people know that I like men?_ My thoughts raced a mile a minute. Then my thoughts were interrupted by Rob. The last and yet still first person I wanted to see right now.

"Hi brother, I couldn't sleep well. You didn't bring an apple for us to split." He pouted slightly

"Sorry, um did you see Theon?"

"No- why is he pissing on you again?" 

"Well no-well I guess... He... Touched me."

Robb paused and those violet blue eyes looked up into mine. "He what?"

"He touched me, and he implied that he wanted to bed me." 

"Implied? More like fucking said. "Well before I kill em, did you like it?"

 

Jon's dark eyes met Robbs light ones. Jon saw something in Robs eyes.  _What was it?_ Robb crawled closer to Jon. There lips close, inches away turned to centimeters. My mouth slightly agape. Robs smirk to over those handsome features. 

 His voice was lower when he said, "Do you have no shame Jon?"

I tilted my head in confusion, even though my eyes fawned over what it feel like to have his lips on mine. 

"I'm your brother and you'd still have me kiss you?"

I bit my lip unknowingly out of habit.

"I certainly see the temptation Theon faced." 

_Kiss me Robb_

 

His hot hands wrapped around my neck and pulled me into his lips. My mind went from hay wire to only feeling, seeing and thinking about Robb. His lips in wrapped be and his tongue taunted me. I gasped and an unsuspected moan came from inside. Robb was now under my influence, that moan pushed him, _inspired_ him to press me into the mattress and lick inside mymouth. 

"Jon" He breathed wet lips glistening. "You like me?"

"Get that smirk off your face it was just a kiss." I lied, but that only encouraged him.

"Oh and this is just my hand on your prick." 

"Ah!" He forced his hand in my pants and it felt better than Theons hand it felt like fire forming in my crotch and belly.

"Feels good?" He asked already smiling down on me. His eyes never leaving me, but taking in the sight. 

 

"Yes, yes-ugh!" My eye's closed tight, my voice was small and fucked out though I hadn't even been, but it was enough to drive any man mad. His strokes increased. I was coming apart and so soon. 

"You want me admit it."

"Mmm"

"Come on baby say it, who do you really want to fuck you good?" _Again his eyes never left me._

"Ah Rob, Rob I'm. so. close." I panted as my back lifted off the bed. When that sadistic clown gripped my hard on before I could cum.

"I said who, do, you, want?"

I connected our lips "You." 

"Your close, and you only feel this good because my mouth is on you, my hands are making you cum. Only me baby."

 

"Mm huh" My eyes close tight my head tilted all the way back and my body spasm like it never did before. I cam hard as Robb arrogantly stroked me threw it, milking it out for all its worth. When my eyes opened his were  _different_ , they were softened. 

I breathed heavy.

"Your beautiful" Was all he said.  _How unfair of him to pull me into him so hard. When I some how new this was only fr a moment, because with Robb in the morning sun he had to hide. Like most of us. Robb was only the wolf I new him to be at night._

* * *

 

 Last night was unreal, but sure of us with the morning light upon us Robb the night creature that he was fled. I washed up and dressed me self for breakfast. I was always the first one down since I had no dressing maids. Rob was surprisingly at the table before me. I wanted to avoid, but inevitably sat down across from him. Friends and family slowly came into the dinning hall. Once our father sat down everyone thanked the non existing seven Gods and ate.  

Robb went on talking like a Prince, smiling like a Prince and even lying like one. To keep up appearance, but I hold no grudge since I was a liar _too._

"You look tired Jon busy night?" Robb said interrupting my thoughts. I was surprised looking up at him and then realizing what he  _really_ meant. I made a face and that shit eating smirk showed itself.

"Not really, you?"

"Mm well my mind was really only focused on one thing." He winked and some how no one noticed it. He once more escaped. I shook my head trying not to give him food. "Eat your food Robb-"

"I'd rather eat something else." He said licking his lips. My eyes grew wide.  _Okay now he's crazy-what if someone notices this sexual banter he's trying to play. How could he even imply that he wanted to eat me-fuck that sounds good. What am  I thinking, besides this is playboy Robb no one would ever presume._

 

I stood up from the table. "May I be excused father?" 

"Sure are you well Jon?"

"Yeah just a bit unwell." 

"You may leave." 

 

"Father I want check on him-"

"Go ahead Robb"

He followed me as my quick and hard steps went to the gardens. Robb grabbed me. 

"Your obvious" I said flustered and frustrated

"One to talk, look nobody knows but you and I. I was just teasing." He said walking up on me pressing me onto a large tree.

"Could you stop."

 

"Oh come on what part about the teasing bothered you? That I implied about last night something only we know or were you just flustered that I implied I wanted to eat you?" 

_So much for doing things only in the day light._

"Could you stop?" I looked around and when I turned back Robb growled lowly. "Look at me when I talk to you."

"What's come over you Robb? Don't talk to me like that."

"Then don't do things to anger me." He said taking my mouth. And it was intoxicating to say the least. His hands were exploring and daylight was the wrong time to explore, but it seemed as though Robb was provoked by my squirming. 

"Jon" He breathed in my hair, his lips found new lands on my neck. His tongue dug its way into more squirming and hip movements and when he sucked I couldn't breathe.

"Ugh" My knees were weak and so I held one hand around his neck and the other balled into his fur.

 

"Come for me baby-"

"Robb stop we can't-" I was cut off by _teeth._ My heart fell cold and my instincts were awakened-these weren't teeth they felt like fangs to a hound. I pushed against Robb who's eyes were glossy. His tongue traced the blood on his lips nd he looked at me. We both seemed to be thinking the same thing. How?

"Robb!" My father called

"Yes father, come with me now." He said with strictness. 

"Good bye Jon" He said going over to my father. 

_Why Good bye darling? Darling._

* * *

* * *

* * *

The night was long but I slept it threw.  When I woke and did my normal morning rhythm I went down stairs grabbing an apple before I left for the black smiths shop. 

"Robb." I said happily 

"Jon" He nodded 

My lips twisted in confusion.

 

"What did father talk to you about?"

"Nothing that concerns you oldly enough." He said tone snappy as ever

"Sorry for asking."

"That's sorry for asking 'your grace'." 

"Excuse me? Last time I checked I was your brother."

He glared up at me. "Piss of half breed."

Theon chuckled "Be calm Robb, he doesn't understand yet."

"Understand what? That your a pompous lil brat today"

Robb got up and walked up to me. Once he was in my space his entire ora changed. He seemed to calm down and decided to just walk past me. 

 

_Weird how in all of a day he changed, what made him so agitated? Were fathers words that bothersome?_

 

I walked my lonesome self to the bridge I had to cross to get to the short cut I took threw the forest to the shop. I did this often. Once I was at the shop work immediately began. Molten, holding and shaping metal and steels to create beginner and advanced beautiful swords. It was a dead day but busy. My wrist were too tired to care at the end of my day. My mind was luckily distracted by my work. 

"Hm, well its late I'll take my short cut tonight."

I walked threw shrubs until I past the old stone and dead creek. Then the tall lean trees which could extend into nothingness which is where I want to be right now, but with Robb. I at least allowed myself that moment in thought to be honest. I wanted to be alone with him. To understand why?

 

"Robb" I said closing my eyes for a moment breathing deeply. I continued my night walk home. I went inside the castle and up to my room. Robb was on my bed.  _Naked_. I swallowed. He looked at me.

"Jon it was so wonderful" He smiled getting off the bed. 

"Whats was wonderful?"

"Oh you have to try it I know you can do it too, I turned into my wolf for the first time. I ran threw the forest with Theon and tasted the blood of man."

"You sound crazy. Happy seventeenth birthday by the way you bi-polar mess" I said waving his words off.

 

"Why I can!"

"No you can't"

"Can! Look"

 

Then in a hard heart beat, before my eyes my brother was a wolf...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't shoot me but please leave comments. Wanna know your opinions on my new Jon & Robb work.


	2. His

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is a gift Jon, I have been bestowed upon as a young pack leader."  
> "Its really strange to here you talk like that." Jon said unconsciously backing up, with every step back he took Robb took one forward. Jon knocked over a lantern and Robb with so much grace and little effort caught it.
> 
> "Jon."  
> "Robb" He said breathless  
> "May I kiss you?"

"Y-your a w-wolf." I said eyes wide with shock, my eyes scanned over the rather large beast in front of him who replaced my brother. I walked up to him, my hand touching soft black fur that was just as dark as the night sky.

"your bigger than a dire wolf."

"You sound surprised I'm insulted." Robb teased. His voice as a wolf was  _different_ than his human form. It was more sinister, darker but somehow just as strong as Robbs spirit. He was to say the least  _beautiful._

 

"What a creature-"

"Tread lightly or you'll be lunch. Which I wouldn't mind." The wolf laughed

"Creepy, why do you always wanna eat me?"

"Is that a real question." He turned back human, body shrank while fur simultaneously fell off to reveal the equally stunning human that was Robb. 

 

 "This is a gift Jon, I have been bestowed upon as a young pack leader."

 

 "Its really strange to here you talk like that." I said unconsciously backing up, with every step back he took Robb took one forward. I knocked over a lantern and Robb with so much grace and little effort caught it.

 

 

 

 "Jon." He said breathless

 

 "Robb" I gasped

 

 

 

 

"May I kiss you?" he spoke against my lips taking my mouth without my permission, but he needed none to kiss me. I couldn't help myself I gave in allowing myself another moment with him. Once his lips trailed warm kisses down my jaw they turned into paths of fire on my neck. I pulled away but he grabbed my arm roughly.

"Stop it Robb!" I said frustrated but he continued to kiss my neck allowing his tongue to once again taste me.

"What if someone. walks. in" My panting made breaks in my sentence. 

"I don't care love, I want to fuck you." He breathed onto my neck. He turned me around and I gripped the end of the bed rails locking me between the bed and him.

 

"Please Jon" He groaned already turned on, it was clear in his voice. 

"Do you really want me? Or is this just easy for you?"

"Both-I'm kidding Jon." He joked but I rolled my eyes. 

"No, I don't want to."

His face changed to anger "Why? Am I not enough?"

"Of course you are its just-"

"Well what the hell love what is it?"

"I'm a virgin."

 

"Oh, right you've never done this before. I'm so sorry Jon. I didn't think for a second." He softened 

"Did you think it was because of a girl?" I smiled

"No, trust me Jon I knew you liked men before you walked in the door."

"Oh a psychic."

"Something like that, love?" He whispered in my ear biting it lightly.

"Yes darling" I moaned faintly.

He smiled at the nickname, his attempts to hide his smile was a failure. 

 

"We won't go all the way till your ready-which means I'll have my tail between my legs but we can do other things." 

"Other things?" I questioned at him.

"Yeah, well first my mouths going to-"

 

"Robb!" Catelyn called in what sounded like a panic. We looked at each other with slight curiosity. 

"What could my mother want at this time a night?" Robb asked grabbing a pair of pants. Once I saw he was dressed I grabbed the door nob, but before I could open it he kissed me and it was for just a second. A moment was all it took for him to make me blush and swoon over him and he knew his affect on me when he looked at my face.

"Your easy Snow." 

I sighed opening the door. "I'll show you who's easy." I mumbled. 

"Please do Snow." He said standing close behind me, I had thought he looked in the blackness of the hall along with me but instead the mutt nuzzled into the back of my neck and _sniffed_ me. 

"Robb where'd your mother go?" I said reminding him why we opened the door.

 

He walked into the hallway looking around. "Ah she's in the next hall. Why is she just knocking on doors? I'm going to go see what she wanted please stay here." Robb said looking at me with a plea in his eyes.

"No."

"Jon"

"Fine." I gave in. He went off into the dark hall.

* * *

 **Robb POV**

"Mother!" I called out. I could hear her panting and her scattered foot steps. "Mother! dammit." 

"Robb my darling we-we need to talk." She said a trace of  _worry_ in her mouth. 

"What about?" 

 

"Mating." 

My eyes were shocked. "Mother how can you say that with a straight face." 

"I'm serious Robb, you can no longer be as you were before." 

I nodded following her to her and my fathers chambers. When we walked in my father was ready. waiting with tight hands clasped. 

 

"My son, I mean it when I say that I and all of Winterfell rejoice for your transformation. You are in the next faze of your life young wolf."

"It feels different now." I agreed

"It is different now, and that is all apart of the change. Along with that." He paused looking at my mother then back at me. "Comes mating. You are an alpha and your  _natural_ need to lead and control others is strong especially since you were born a pack leader. You have the power to  _overpower_ omegas. That is a great and terrible gift. You must always know when to use it."

"How will I know?"

"When duty out weighs pleasure." 

" _Oh_ , you mean... I can seduce them?"

"Yes, its a type of seduction that omegas won't be able to say  _no_ to."

"Rape?"

"I type of-"

"Its against our will." My mother said cutting off my father. 

 

"I think I understand now, but what about humans?"

"What about them?" They asked at once.

"What if I wanted to be with a human?"

"Never! You are to be with an omega or beta-preferably omega. They have a more docile nature to combat your alpha nature." My mother said attempting to convince me.

 

"Who do you have your eye on?" My father asked seeing right threw me. I swallowed unintentionally and he knew he got me. 

"Someone, maybe." 

"Maybe? Who is she?" He smirked

"She-ugh?" I stammered. I questioned for a moment if he'd be more made that the human I loved was a man or the fact that the human I loved was my half brother. Wait  _love_?

"Oh Gods Robb let me meet her." My father smiled.

"No she's nothing serious." 

 

"Oh well whenever you do let me know." He said patting my shoulder.

"Will do father. Goodnight mother."

 

I left out of there like a bat out of hell. My heart swelled and I didn't know what to do. I wanted Jon but was being led another way. Maybe I'm overthinking it.  _Maybe_.

* * *

* * *

**Jon POV**

 

"Your back, well what was it you were gone for a lifetime." I said looking up from my lap. His face looked disappointed, I fucking knew Catelyn was up to no good. She ripped the smile off his face, it was as big a crime as winter wiping the sun from the sky. 

"Jon my parents think it best I not be with a human."

"Ok?" I asked confused

 

"What do you mean ok?" He said confused

"Why does it matter what they want?"

His features seemed to clear. Where lines of stress formed were now smooth. He Grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to his person. 

"Jon your somehow both the least and most complicated person in my life." He smiled and leaned in to kiss my forehead.  

"Good night love." He said lowly

"Night darling."

* * *

 _My thoughts were not okay, Robb seemed bothered and so I was bothered. This wolf, this young man was feeling overwhelmed and because he wasn't allowed to be with a human. Who was this human? Is it me? Am I human? I can't be I'm still part Stark or does it not work that way? I had so many questions. All I could do was toss and turn. I got up when sleep became too much to work towards. So I got up and took a walk.  
_

_The air was calming and it was nice. It was lonely though._

 

"Couldn't sleep could you Snow?"

I looked up seeing Theon look at me from his window. I rolled my eyes.

"Please go to sleep." I complained

"Your mad-why? Robb was never going to pick you. Some regular human."

"Wait-I'm human?"

"Yeah well your not man enough to be a wolf."

"Oh then you must not be either." I countered

 

With plenty of force and fury he leapt from the window onto his feet. 

"I'm a full wolf- a beta." He said angrily grabbing my collar. "I could eat you whole and spit you out Snow!"

"Try me, I'd be half your size and best you still!"

"Fuck-you!" His eyes burned bright and he ripped his flesh as his frame grew. Fangs sprouted and he was massive. The growl coming from him was deep and heavy.Theon was slightly bigger than a dire but no where the magnitude of the black wolf behind him.... _My wolf_. His eyes fierce and strong as he walked around Theon with such elegance. He stood in front of me and growled at Theon who jolted at me, trying to get to me but Robb made it nearly impossible. Soon Theon seemed to automatically back down. He ran off sulking. 

 

Robb turned to me and looked into my eyes. "You protected me." I said

The would nodded as he leaned his head down and seemed to fall into his blackness. It consumed me and when I awoke I was in his bed, wrapped in his arms. I was red from being able to  _feel_ the nakedness of his body, as I was comforted by his scent. I could only seem to focus on him. I wanted to ask  _Did I pass out? Am I alright?_ but that last one seemed to figure itself out. I was more than alright. I was _home. Home in his embrace, home in his bed and home in these four walls where darkness held us._

I turned over on my belly and his hands held my waist. Violet Blue's stared into my obsidian eyes."Be mine" He said

"I'm no ones."

"Your no ones but my own." He said possessively. _How possessive has he become?_

"I'm your brother." I spoke bitterly

"I'm pissed you think that it matters love."

"Doesn't it?" I questioned 

"Does it?" He annoyingly countered with the utmost ease.

 

He tangled his fingers in my black curls pulling me to him without a second thought. My lips touched his and I gave up as I for some reason often or not do. It was an insecure kiss that became more secure as wanting lips brushed against each other. His fingers gripped the back of my hair with control as mine clawed for escape but found none in his smothering touch. It was tight but it was mines.

He grew rougher than the once boy I knew. Now a man. He pleasured me in a way in which I had never known pleasure and licked a trail of painful bliss on my thighs as he grazed them purposefully with his nails.

"Deny me no longer Jon"

"Mmm" I moaned without shame and he could tell I was under his control.  _Where was my control? Had it been taken from me?_  

 

He put his two fingers to my mouth and I looked at them curiously. 

"Suck" He commanded, sending waves inside me. I did as told wetting up the long digits before they were removed from my needy mouth. He circled my rim and it caught me off guard and not in the way I thought it would. I hadn't even notice I was naked as well  _When did I remove them? Did I even do it?_

I soon enough felt his index finger pressing into me and I grasped him tighter. It felt foreign but his tongue was there to direct my attention else where. His finger roamed and then another was added. He began a scissoring motion that made me squirm.

 

"Robb, darling please they'll hear" I groaned when those gifted finger moved in a come hither motion making my body keen for more. It felt too good. How had I never known this pleasure. He touched something inside me that made my back arch.

"Good I want them to." He rasped arrogantly on my lips claiming me. He moved faster and my legs trembled on the cusp of something new when he said, 

 

"Come for me Jon, now!" I came obediently. My hips rocked on his and I became his in this act.

 

 

 

 _His_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. With Gritted Teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What do you mean you don't belong?" Robb shouted  
> "I have never belonged here and your mother has ensured that!"

Waking up next to the person you love is amazing and it was amazing for us. We had been together from here now until our last day. No one had knew but Theon, why my brother entrusted him even after all the last happenings between I and Theon is beyond me. I couldn't care though. It was no longer in me to care, because I had him and he had me.

I was  _his._

 

"Your grace the grounds are ready." The young maid said looking at robb who almost seem to  _slither_ to her looking at her in a  _way_. 

"Thank you love." 

She left blushing. I looked at him perplexed.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing just a tease."

"Please reframe from that and calling anyone else love."

"Will do, I'm sorry  _love_." He inphasised

 

We were at the training grounds behind the castle. The children trained and fought on the other side of the castle where my father watched them, and I was with Robb. Hidden but still seen. Robb had gotten bolder with his affection and I felt as though he was now more possessive than the last with a ferocious and insasiable need to show others I was his. He grew irritated from having to hide and he had confided in me about that.

 

"Are you happy being hidden?" He asked putting down his sword.

"No, but we have to, and not just because I'm human."

"Right... "

"I am your brother Robb." 

He walked closer to me, now in my space. He grabbed my waist and I ran my hands up his chest. He pressed me into the wooden pole and leaned into my ear. 

 

"You are not my brother." He said as if he meant it to sting. "You are my lover and no less than that." 

"I was your brother before I was your lover. Remember that."

"You were but no longer. Can't it just be enough to be mine?" He pleaded tongue slithering up my neck. I pushed against him making him  _see me_.

 

"You don't have to renounce me as your brother for us to stay lovers, you are my brother and my love darling." I knew he understood when he leaned his head down to my shoulder. When he looked back into these eyes he pierced me, love had brought a new understanding to those icy eyes.  _I couldn't help myself_. I leaned into him grabbing him and kissing him. One stolen moment. No one was here.

My lips mingled with his and our tongues dance and rejoiced, Robb loved this moment of boldness. We pulled away breathing and smiling at each other. 

"Alright love let's go get supper." He said grabbing my hand.

 

 

 

We went to supper but I wasn't invited this time. Lady Catelyn had thought it best I not be in the presence of our guest. Jamie Lannister. He had been sent bringing news to Ned with a faked and haughty smile. 

I was cleaning and sharpening the swords when an unwanted presence was felt. I turned around to see him Jamie Lannister the Kingslayer.

"Cleaning, shouldn't you be with your illegitimated father and the rest of your family?"He teased.

"Why do you care foreigner?"

"She can't stand you." He said taking the sword that was in my hands and looking at it. "Not bad boy."

"I don't think she's ever made it a secret she feels about me, and I don't really care." 

"Yes you do they all care when mummy-"

"She is not my mother and you have no business here with me so please go back to your supper." I said stern and agitated, I took the sword from him and out it in my sheathe. He seemed momentarily stunned I took the sword from him but that same ole smirk grew back in its menacing place.

 

 

"Do you think I'm handsome Jon?" He asked breath against the back of my neck. It froze me. His left hand ran up my arm to my neck where he moved my hair so that he could whisper in my ear.

"You seem to have a peculiar attraction for men I've noticed. Men get you riled up?"

"Get away from me, it appears to be you who is bold enough to do so to another man. I turned around facing him.

"Tell me does Ned support your affection towards your brother?"

_How did he know?_

 

"You see I noticed these wild and burning affections when I saw you steal a kiss from the heir of Winterfell. You must love him."

"As you must love Cearsi." I said, he with drew. I had bested him there.

"Be careful bastard there are eyes on you, even here in Winterfell." He said walking away. 

 

 _How could he judge when he had the same love I had?  He could've been a mentor on this kind of love but instead tried to make me feel bad-as though he does not go threw the same thing. I never understood until now how one could love as this, but its... Robb and he has always made me do an feel crazy things._ I was pulled out of thought by a womans soft voice. 

 

"Jon" Came a young maid. "Your father seeks your counsel."

"Of course."

 

* * *

* * *

_I wished I had not opened that door._

 

I walked in and sat down in one the emerald cushioned chairs. Ned was in front me looking at me with an almost pitiful look. 

"what's wrong your grace?" 

"Do you know who Robbs fallen for?"  He asked with a forced smile.

_Yes_

"No, but I hear she is lovely."

"She?" 

I looked up into his eyes. 

 

"What do you mean?" I asked attempting to control any worry in my face

_"Its a young woman?"_

"Yes why wouldn't it be?" 

"I know my son, I've walked in on him with boys and girls."

"Your fine with that?" This was interesting, something even I hadn't known.

 

"No I'm not but he is a wolf, he is and alpha and future pack leader. It is not so uncommon for them to seek companionship with men and women but at the same time humans are out of the question." 

 

"I had never known this bout your family."

"I know its knew to you and even Robb. Jon..."

"Yes your grace." I smiled

"You should stay inside tonight." He said looking down into his lap then back at me.

"Why?"

 

 

"I want you to stay away from-"

"Robb-why?"

"Jaimie actually. Why'd you think Robb?"

"We're inseparable thought you'd be lecturing me on lolly gagging with him sometimes."

 

He smiled but it soon left. 

"Jon I-" In came Catelyn.

"We want you to stay away from Jaime and we would like for you to give up  your room to him."

With gritted teeth I said "Take it... It never belonged to me anyway Catelyn."

"That's Lady Catelyn to the likes of you."

 

I looked down at my father as I stood up.  _Coward_ I thought. "On that note I'll be leaving."

"Jon I didn't mean to-"

I held my hand up stopping Neds excuse to allow that women for the thousandth time to be little me. Well no more. I left walking earnestly down the hall opening the door to Robb's empty room. I needed him, his embrace but as I looked around the grounds of the castle an unhappy melody plagued me. I put on a cloak and searched Winterfell for him. He was no where near.

I slowed down giving up and taking the forest back home. I heard the beast of the night but also heard panting and gasping. I followed it to see... Robb. Fucking the very maid who told me to go see my father. His fangs bared and eyes burning bright blue. He growled and other I presume wolves watched and began there own ambiguous behavior. He looked up at me.

I swallowed hard tears sprung and I ran as fast as I could. Tripping over stone and running threw stream.

_Where is home for me? He is no longer mines-he is anyones._

I went inside the castle and opened my door. I filled a bag of everything I had which wasn't much. I tried to clear the tears but they were everlasting. I got into bed knowing this would be my last night here. Five hours passed when Robb woke me.

 

 

 

"Love..."

"You have no right-"

"Jon you don't understand I am still yours but as a pack leader I have certain... Things which must happen in order for them to show favor in me."

"Like fuck the maid."

"The aid was an omega and her scent-"

"I'm leaving. I don't belong here" I interrupted.

 

 

"What do you mean you don't belong?" Robb shouted

 

"I have never belonged here and your mother has ensured that!"

 

 

"Your not leaving Jon I won't allow it."

 

"Allow it? Go to hell Rob." He stopped me grabbing my hair, I squinted at the sting.

"Fuck. You. You don't care about this-us"

"Look I do Jon, believe me when I tell you. tonight was an initiation into the possession. It will never happen again."

I took in a deep breath. You picked her. The way you looked at her today you picked her."

He swallowed hard being caught was never easy for anyone, but him especially.

 

"I'm gone"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts, should he stay and forgive or leave and venture? Do you think Robb was wrong?


	4. Now or Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who was he?"  
> "..." Those words couldn't leave my lips, that I wasn't ready to answer. For it would bring  a whole new level of disgust.  
> "Your brother? Robb?" He said softly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is filler the next chapter will flow better and the time spent won't jump so much. But please tell me your thoughts. Cause hell a bitch struggled with this one. Promise next chapter to be longer going to post it Friday hold me to it!

"Jon." He said voice horse. Robb looked up at me and he was  _sorry._ I could see it in him and I had no heart to not. I walked over to him with heavy feet. 

"I forgive you Robb."

His blue eyes looked up with shock, happiness and relief. Before he wrapped his arms around me I took a step back.

 

"But, you can not touch me. In that  _way_. You are my brother not my lover. I'm not sure that's something we should jump into." 

"Jon we can never go back to the way things were."

"And I'm not asking for it to, but I'm just saying that's not something I seek in you.  _For now._ You had me, my trust and guard down, I was open and willing but what you did made me draw away."

He nodded looking into my dark eyes, he could sense nothing else faltered in me.  _He never could, or maybe I had just been too good at pretending._

"So you meant it when you said you were leaving?"

I looked at him and in his eyes was anger,  _selfish_ Robb had been in this moment. Not wanting me to go though he was not the main reason I left he is still apart of it. 

 

I knew then I wasn't coming back. Never again.

* * *

Walking to my room in the night felt like a long walk. The longest I had taken. I knew I didn't want to leave him but I was never the less. To find my people, my own life and home. I would work to become ranger at the Night's Watch. I had wanted it always only now its happening. Sooner then what I'd expected but  _they_ pushed me to it. Lady Catelyn will rejoice in my absence while my father will focus on Robert Baratheon and Robb would grow and learn to live without me.

 _I hope it was worth it._ Was all I thought when I thought of Robb. Never the less I packed my bags and left on horse back with my uncle Benjen. 

 

 

"Are you sure about this Jon?" My uncle asked, I took one look back for the last time and turned back to my uncle. 

"Positive." I said

 

I followed my uncle until we reached a camp of men. I got off my horse and walked next to him as eyes followed me in ways I hadn't expected. I took a deep breath and when inside my uncle's tent I looked at him with a hopeful smile.

"Jon"

"Yes?"

"You'd do best sleeping away from the other men tonight." 

"Why?"

"You maybe looked at in away you'd not expected. The men here are murders, criminals and  _rapist_. Your just what they'd want." 

 

Then I understood. "Oh, I follow." 

"Good now get some rest its going to be a long way come morning." 

 

I left the tent and took place by the fire across from none other than the imp Tyrion Lannister. I looked into the fire letting its licking flames soothe my mind. 

"Are you sure your going to take the black bastard?" Tyrion said and I looked up at him confused why he'd care.

"Yes, why else would I be here?" 

"Because your a fool, tell me will you be ready for a life sentence at the wall?"

"Of course, and in your brothers words 'its only for life.' "

 

"Oh that was bitter of him, I'm sure Jaimie was just teasing." Tyrion laughed

"Why are you bothering me?"

"Didn't know I was bastard." 

"Huh... "

"Why are you so pouty? Especially for a man who wanted this." 

"I'm not pouty I'm just... Warming up." I smirked, Tyrion smiled at me and I don't know why I told him this but I did.

 

"My brother, he once told me about how he saw roses sprout threw the winter snow."

"Jon that's impossible, roses don't grow in winter." Tyrion said in disbelief, but in every word held such fascination still.  
Jon smiled but his eyes were distant. "You know I didn't believe him until I saw them for myself. All the while he held my hand and pulled me to a mirror."

"Ah so you were his winter rose, or was your brother just simply enticed?" Jon looked up with a smirk

"Maybe a bit of both."

"I never knew?"

"No one did until now." I said my tone lower.

 

Tyrion was great company and he knew it. We shared things with one another and on a level in the strangest way we could relate. Me talking about Robb brought a chill to my bones so I reached my hand out towards the fire and the feeling made me shiver the closer I reached I was entranced. It felt as though the fire was home-a type of comfort. 

"Jon!" Tyrion shouted snapping me back from my trance.

"What?" I said caught off guard.

"Do you not know pain?" He looked at my hand which hadn't even been burned. His eyes grew with interest. 

"That didn't hurt?" 

I shook my head, because it didn't. Fire never hurt-it felt  _warm and familiar_

 

"You are a strange one bastard." 

I shrugged "Wouldn't be a lie you did just see me touch fire." I laughed breaking tension even more now. 

"Get some rest Snow."

"And yourself Tyrion." 

* * *

* * *

Sleep couldn't be had it was impossible. I was up before everyone else. I ventured into the forest for a while with the constant knowledge that I was being followed-watched. The sensory was still nice but I didn't want to wander too far. When I decided to turn back there he was... A  _wolf_ the wolf I once called mine. I looked into his eyes.

"Jon! Where have you been?" Benjen called

I turned to him and when I looked back Robb was gone. I sighed following Benjen back to camp. 

"You can't walk off like that I thought something happened."

"I'm sorry."

"Relax Bwnjen, after a night of hungry roughens watching him he needed a walk. Shall we Jon." Tyrion said looking at me expectantly. I looked at Benjen who nodded and told me to go. I walked next to Tyrion with I silent thank you just on the edge of my lips.

"Jon" Tyrion said with a smile "Your welcome."

 

 

* * *

* * *

* * *

Now I was here I was in the Night's Watch. We were gathered in a large group in the center with our elders eyes on us. Commander Mormont spoke with confidence and faith in us. Faith that we'd grow into real men of the Watch, but I knew I was capable of such. I felt the determination in me but my first week proved to be a further example of my hard to start exisistance. They hated me, Lord Tyrion told me to teach them, but its hard to become a teacher to boys who'd spit in your direction.

I grew impatient and when I grew out of that impatience I became a teacher then. Its unfair to fight men who'd never fought.  It was an adjustment like anything else but this was seemingly better than my prior life in Winterfell. I had brothers now who'd learn from me and who'd I'd grown warm to. None held such a place in my bones as quick as Sam but he knew that. He was very smart after all. 

This night been different though. 

 

 

 

We were up late talking in our shared room. Ghost on the bed resting. 

"Tell me Jon, how many girls did you bed before you left?" He moved his brows up and down as if expecting me to say tones. I shrugged but he didn't let up. 

"I... I never had."

"Jon your one of the handsomest men I've seen, you don't have to lie your still an angel." He teased

"No, I meant it. I've never been with a women. I never wanted to father bastards to make a child suffer my fate and..."

"And?"

"Besides I've never been interested in girls."

"Hells I have." He smiled. I laughed because I'd never seen Sam falter, but he was human. I was human just with a different interest. My lips burned wanting to tell em. Tell him my secret. That I had liked men, but it just couldn't leave my lips so I just said it randomly. It was now or never

 

 "Sam I don't like girls." I said abruptly

"Why are you repeating yourself? Saying it won't make you want them less Jon."

"I like men... That's really why." I looked up at him my eyes stinging from tears as I tried to prevent them. They burned a way fire never had. 

 

"You like men, well more for me." He joked and it lightened my heavy heart

"Your brave Jon, takes a lot to admit something like that." 

"Really?" My eyes looked at him searching for any signs of disgust or distaste, but there had been none. 

"Who was he?"

"..." Those words couldn't leave my lips, that I wasn't ready to answer. For it would bring  a whole new level of disgust.

"Your brother? Robb?" He said softly

 

I looked up into those eyes shame flooded me. It was inevitable.

"How did you know?" I said my voice horse

"You can't stop talking about him. Ever since you came. You love him one moment and then you hate him the next. Liking someone then being hurt by them normally does that to people. Remember I'm the smart one between us." He smiled 

"Aye you are. Your not-"

"Revolted? No, but I'd encourage you to find someone who won't hurt you. I can tell your brother did." 

"You have such a big heart Sam, I love you." 

"Hey I said I still liked girls remember." He teased

I threw my pillow at him and laughed. 

 

 

"Humble yourself Sam your not my sort."

"Really, and what's that?"

"Slim." I said laughing myself silly along with Sam. For a moment I had strength to not look back. To not miss those hands and lips. Strength to be free from secrets. And it felt good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your prettier than all my daughters."

"We will ride to find the other men, we need to see if there is still hope in finding Benjen." Commander Mormont said tone serious and field with expectations. I looked at Sam a deep sigh in myself.  _What if we don't find him?_ Is all that ran threw my mind. Sam patted my back, his version of moral support. He leaned over to me and smile. 

"Jon, you might meet someone out there." 

"What do you men Sam?" I said confused as hell. Hoping he didn't mean what I think he means. He moved his eye brows up and down.

"You know a lad." 

"Sam get away from me." I laughed shaking my head.

 

"Men, stop playing and mount your horses."

"Yes Lord Commander." We said in unison.

* * *

* * *

 

 

We got on our horses and we rode in a line. Believe it or not, its much colder out here than it is back at the Nights Watch. It was endless and the day and night time were both snow filled. We took rest at this old bastards home where he fucked his daughters and birth more daughters to fuck. Mormont beckoned him for answers, but he was just a bother. 

He mocked me by saying "Who's she, he's prettier than any of my daughters. I'll tell you whatever you need to know if you give me him."...  _bastard_ I thought. Mormont ignored him, but in the same retro spec didn't defend me. I walked outside to get air. Mormont seemed pressed about a man who left the Night's Watch. Think he became some Wildling leader. I sighed walking a little further into the snow.

 

A sound was made in the mist of my snow filled thoughts. It sounded like...  _foot steps_. I turned around and saw no one but I walked around the are looking to see if someone was there.

 

"Snow what the hell are you doing?" Lord Commander spoke voice frustrated.

"I thought I heard something Lord Commander."

"Well did you see anything?" 

"No I-"

"Then get inside Jon its cold." He said shoulders relaxing. 

 

We went inside and night was upon us fully. The home was quite. I couldn't sleep though, not a wink. All I could think about was those lips on me, his hands exploring me. My body felt hot and I was so turned on as I looked back on the first time it happened. Needed to clear my head so I did by getting up and going outside.  _Again_

The coldness hit me and it felt good. I turned back around and there  _he_ was. That old bastard who mocked me earlier.

"You look good without a shirt." He smirked walking up to me. "Where have they been keeping you?"

"I'm fairly new to the Watch, you should be in bed sir its cold and you are of-age." I said plainly

 

"Why don't you come and warm my bed tonight."

"Honestly"

"Yeah?"

"Go to hell." I walked pass him and went inside laying amongst my fellow men.

* * *

Morning approached and we were back on the move. 

"What did you say to him Snow?" Lord Commander Mormont asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Not much." I said hoping he'd get the hint of annoyance in my voice.  

 

"You want to lead one day boy?" He said which made me pause and look at him. "Well learn how to shut up and get information."

I let him walk pass me before I began walking again. My focus was walking, so that I don't think about the cold. I laughed with the others especially Pip. We had been told this was our spot for the night.

"Jon, Pip and Nigel go fin wood for a fire." 

"Yes, Lord Commander"

 

We set out looking for wood and we stayed close. We found a stream and on the other side saw scattered bits of wood. Picking them up we made sure not to get the ones that were soaked in water. Pip slow headedness made that job harder.

"Jon how wet is wet?" He asked

"I'd give anything for something wet and warm." Nigel complained

I laughed at them. Leave it to them to put a smile on my face. 

 

As I got the last bit of wood I dazed off. 

_"Mines."_

_"Yours." heavy breaths as lips collided._

My mouth went dry and I leaned against the tree next to me. 

"Fuck me." I gasped thinking about Robb once more but that thought was interrupted by a scream.

 

"Jon!"

I turned around seeing Nigel get smacked to the ground by a large animal. Running over and pulling out my sword it was a bear a  _big_ bear. I was able to hold my own but the damn thing was huge suddenly I was knocked down dropping my sword. A man came behind the beast attacking wildly. What strength he had. I got to my feet and with this red headed mans help killed the beast.

I breathed heavy and when he looked up at me he smiled.

"Thank you sir"

"Sir?" He laughed "No problem pretty crow."

I rolled my eyes.

"Your a good fighter but I don't think your friends well."

I looked over at Nigel and ran to him. Blood spilled from his neck littering the once pure white blanket. I closed his eyes and looked up at the man. I looked around for Pip but he was no where to be found.

 

"The other one ran."

_Of course_

 

"You need shelter crow."

I looked out and he was right the whether worsened and it was hard to see anything. I got up dragging Nigel's body to the cave the man lead me too. It was surprisingly warm. I could feel myself unthawing. 

"Why are you out here? Trying to start trouble?" 

"Trouble what do you mean?" I was confused and then it hit me like a brick.  _Wildling_

I looked into those green eyes and was about to get to my feet when he spoke. 

 

"Sit down pup, if I wanted trouble I would've started it." His voice was rough and it was comforting to my ears. He wasn't lying though why else would he have helped us?

"You hate Wildlings huh?"

"No I, I've just always been taught that you people rape, kill and steal." I sort of hit myself over the head for being honest but hell I felt like I couldn't lie to him. 

He laughed "Well you tell me pretty crow, have you been raped, robbed and left for dead?"

I swallowed shaking my head.

"Southerners are ignorant."

"I'm not a southern, I'm from Winterfell-"

"Hmph if that's the north then where are we?" He mocked

I wanted to resist but couldn't help but smile. 

 

"Hm, you have a pretty smile crow."

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Calling me, pretty."

"Well its true. Must be hard for you to be taken seriously."

 

"Why are you alone?" I asked nosily

"I was looking for that damn bear. Figured he'd be good meat." 

"You went alone?"

"Unlike you I don't need another man to save me." He teased

"Whatever. What's your name?" I asked

"Tormund-"

"Giantsbane!" I interrupted

 

"So you have heard of me. Your name boy" He smiled

"Jon Snow."

"The Stark Bastard?"

"Glad to see you've heard my name once or twice."

"Mance told me about a bastard boy whose father ran Winterfell." 

 

"Mance Rayder?"

"Aye the king beyond the wall."

"He ran away from the Night's Watch"

"Hell would you swear off girls? Oh wait you already have." 

"We have to follow the code."

"Well get used to being surrounded by cock boy."

 

 _Technically I prefer it._ I thought. I held my hand out to the fire as Tormund sang some song. I almost wanted to get closer to it. I reached further and I could feel his eyes on me as he paused. 

"What are you doing that for? Get to close and you'll burn that pretty skin."

But I was touching the fire the flames licked at my hand and out of shock I pulled away. 

"You like fire?"

I shrugged

"Well you must love reds, we're kissed by fire." He smiled ad it warmed my soul.

"Well then I suppose I do have a thing for reds."  _Why the hell did I say that?_ I thought.  _That was too much ah shut up me!_

 

I felt my cheeks heat and it wasn't the flames. I was blushing at my own stupidity.

"Your even prettier when your embarrassed"

I looked up at him eyes bright. 

"Didn't I say stop it." I said huffing with frustration

"Sorry, good night pup. I'd stay up and bicker with you about your beauty but I'm tired. Unless you have something else in mind to keep me awake." He looked me up and down and all I could do under that stare was nothing. My mouth felt empty of words and honestly. I liked his compliment. That's stupid I know but maybe it was his voice. 

 

He laid down and all I could do was be awake with thoughts that I shouldn't possess at the moment.

 "Come here boy." He spoke, Like a fool I came over instantly. It was my natural reaction to  _commands_. He looked at me with a smirk. 

" _Good boy "_ He said roughly. He must've known the way it affected me. I moved under his stare aware that my body language might've leaned into him more.

 

"Lay with me, we'll stay warmer."

I knodded laying with my back facing him with out a second thought. I felt his arm on my waist and my lips tingle in want.  _Why now? Why be horny now?_ My body was too excited. I felt his breath scant across my skin and it was becoming harder to resist. He pulled me closer and a small gasp escaped me. His body was hot and it wasn't right to have these thoughts about someone who had been an enemy.

"Your moving a lot pretty crow." His voice said deeply in my ear. I bit my lip. I didn't even notice I was moving  _fuck_.

"S-sorry"

 

He turned me on my back and he could tell. I was flushed, lips red and slightly swollen from biting them.

"Are you alright?" His hand cascaded down my cheek and I couldn't bare it. My eyesJon searched his and I leaned up into him more.

"How warm are you trying to get?" He said against my lips, I wanted it so damn bad but I pulled away. He smirked.

 

"Good night Tormund" I gasped faintly

"Night Jon." He said with a snicker.

 

_That was too fucking close._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on our hot cave?


	6. Shiver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wonder how it would feel if I just let him...

My head felt dizzy when I awoken, but my body was so warm. That's when  I remembered who was keeping me warm. Tormund. How could I forget how close I felt I would give in. Even though last night he was the one who made a pass at me, but I fell for it easily enough. Though I can normally resist and ignore but him I couldn't-or at least that's what it felt like.

I could feel him behind me, his breath scanting across my neck.  _It felt good_ and so did his hands on my waist. I closed my eyes wanting  _this_ to last just a moment longer. Its been forever since I felt someone's hands around me. 

 

"Boy are you sleep?" His voice penetrated my peace, I suppose that was reality setting in. I went to pull away but he held me tight. "You don't have to wake up if you don't want to." I smiled to myself how kindly untrue he was.

"I should be going. My men are probably looking for me now."

 

We pulled apart and he smirked when I looked at him. "Don't runoff so soon pup, I think it still might be storming."

"I'm sure its lightened, I feel as though i'm already too far from them but...Thank you."

"For what helping you? You'll pay me back, one day you'll be the one keeping me warm amidst a storm." He said with a teasing grin. I rolled my eyes.

 

 

When I got up and saw that the storm had made no change in moving I swallowed. _I couldn't stay here another night, that be dangerous. In the same way it would a man who desired a woman's touch. This was tempting. I wonder how right Sam new he would be when he suggested I might meet someone-a man_.

I set foot into the blizzard not thinking I would turn back around, because it was the first and last thing I wanted to happen as fickle as that sounded. I kept making haste in the snow until I knew he couldn't spot me amongst the blizzard, the more distance met the further away from _tempting_ I was, but even that was near impossible, because the same hands I ran from found me again.

 

  _And I was back at that cave._

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

 

 The cold numbed everything, it made you fantasies about the sun while making you curse the people who had it. It made you feel alone, its icey kisses of snow flakes on my skin were so unwanted, but it also made me yearn for company... For his company and I had it. the had never answered me before but it did now that I had a vow it wanted me to break.

 

 "That was stupid." Tormund said tone more serious than when I met him. His breath was uneven as he removed the snow wetted cloths and I followed.

"I thought it was-"

"What? Clear enough to walk, are you blind?"

"No I just-"

"Am stupid enough to walk into the very storm that bound you to this cave?"

"I don't need to be scolded ok, I was trying to get back to my men."

 

"And have you seen any of em thus far?" 

I said nothing, answering back with silence was all I could do.

"Unlike you their probably smart enough to know you go walking in storms."

 

He was right, they more than likely hadn't made a move cause of the storm, but they weren't running from something at the same time. Unlike me, how cowardly of a thing to do. Now I am here with the very same reason that made me leave.

He held out a canteen. I took it swallowing the contents. He must've noticed me shiver, we moved further into the cave and he had made a fire in a make shift shallow pit. Fire warmed me but it was enough. If it was possible I'd bath in the flames. He looked at me starring into the fire. I didn't mean to but I know I looked defeated.

"I'm sorry, I know I must be given you trouble."

"Its fine just as long as your okay and will understand storms aren't walkable." 

"Alright."

 

"You've got something troubling you boy?"

"Its nothing."

"What it is? You must think about it often." 

I shrugged  _Well I used to think about Robb but now I'm being foolish and thinking about what it would be like if...  I wonder how it would feel if I just let him..._

 

He pulled me from heavy thought with a snap of his fingers.

"Sorry-"

"Is it your men?"

"Aye-"

"Liar, is it a girl?"

I smirked "No"

"Ah... A boy?" 

 

I looked up surprised. 

"It is, well why'd you leave em for this?"

"Its not like that. I just worry about my family back home. My sisters and brothers."

He smirked and seemed to let it pass  _or so I thought._

 

"So you Jon Snow like no one and left no one but family back home?"

"Y-yes"

"Must be complicated."

"Why?" I said turning toward him.

"Because your a thinky person, you seem complicated already." 

 

I laughed at that. "I suppose your right, its always been this way for me though. Complicated"

"Pretty and Complicated, what a mess you could make of someones heart." 

"You think so? Hm well I really don't know much of anything about making a mess of someones heart, just my own."

 

"You've never had an experience?"

"I suppose on some level I have-once, it was the most I had done or felt with anyone and well it was a mistake."

"You got hurt."

I nodded biting my lip

"How far did you go?"

That's when color rose to my cheeks. I turned away from him and looked into the fire. He laughed cheerfully.

 

"Sorry to make you shy boy. So you've never had full on sex?"

"N-no, but its not like I've done nothing." I defended like a child.

"Well at least you didn't fuck someone who hurt you."

"I like how you can pull the positive out of anything." I rolled my eyes for the thousandth time.

 

"How long has it-"

"Forever." I almost gasped.             _Almost_

 

 _"_ Clearly too long." His eyes scanned me and mine bore straight into him. 

_Tormund_

We moved closer together and his hand ran down my face. 

_Please_

His hand had a firm hold on the back of my neck and he pulled me into a mind numbing kiss. His tongue did no teasing but it was certainly showing me this was only the beginning. It claimed me with abandon and I crawled on top of his lap, legs on either side of his lap and moaned into into his mouth as my hips moved on his. We pulled apart breathing deeper and  his lips kissed down my jaw to my neck. His tongue dug an intense feeling on my skin which went straight to my cock.

 

And then his teeth grazed me "Mmm ugh" I moaned gripping his shoulder while my other hand tangled in his red waves. 

"Move more for me pretty crow, let me feel you." His voice took off my uncertainty and replaced it with a hunger I felt deep in my belly. I did as told and the reward was immense pleasure beaconing our bodies. I could hear him breath in more and groan in my ear.

 

"Couldn't help it Jon"

"No, I tried I really tried Tormund." 

We panted and kissed again never letting go of each other. Holding on tight. He gripped my waist and laid me down on soft fur.

 

 

By this point the clothes had been shed.  _It feels good, so good. Don't let it end. I think I could forget him now-yes I can get over... Rob_

 

His fingers were inside me driving me up the wall. If he kept this up I wouldn't last much more. 

"Ah!" I gasped as he caressed those bundle of nerves. His fingers curled up inside me and I couldn't even think. My mouth was open as if a sound would come out, but all  that _c_ ame out was a chocked gasp.

_I don't care that I don't no him well, don't care we didn't grow up together, that he had no titles. I wanted this and was sure if it. He made me feel sure with his hands and praises._

"You are beautiful."

"Mmm Tormund." 

He pulled his fingers out and lined his oil slick cock to me. 

 

"Jon I need you to take a deep breath for me baby." 

"Okay"

"Now, 1. 2. 3" And I did as he slid inch by inch slowly inside me. It wasn't just the length that took a lot of adjusting to. It was his girth. I breathed threw it and he paused letting me adjust. He kissed me and began moving out slowly and pushing back in at the same speed. 

 

It felt so uncomfortable and strange but his fingers distracted by rubbing my nipple while my lips and tongue worked his neck. And it started to grow on me then- _Fuck_ is that the same place his fingers hit because it stronger. My toes curled

He looked down at my face and pulled out slowly and slammed back in  _hard,_ making me grip his arms tight. I was holding on to the wildling for dear life. 

"Fuck!" I moaned but it was like a shout and he wore a cocky smirk connecting our lips together. He gripped me and fucked into me so good when my back arched from the furs it was his named I claimed. It was his name I switched out from Robb's and it felt wonderful to feel freed of the grip Robb clearly had on me. At least in this moment I could be free. 

 

 

"Tormund!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Thoughts?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not an actual chapter

Thoughts on Shiver? What do you think about this cave scene and Jon allowing Tormund to be his first? Do you ship them or Robb? Need thoughts for next chapter;)


	8. Thinking Bout You

All I could feel was how good I felt. It was early morning, dawn I believe. Tormunds lips and soft tongue made claim to the back of my neck.  _Don't find me men, I'd be a disgrace if you did._ His hand stroked me edging me on. My eyes closed tight while he was inside me. My breathing was already rigid and shaky. I tried to not make it so believable that I was a virgin, for the most part I'd impressed my lover but there were moments when my innocence was so easily scene.

"Ah in the morning?" I gasped, nails scrapping up and down his thighs. 

"Absolutely Jon, let you get a crow as pretty as you. You'd want to fuck em all the time." His lips planted praises on my shoulder and I loved it.

He hips hit a rhythm I couldn't think of ever. I pushed back against his thrust and the growl that came from deep within him made me work harder. Trying to be a bit of a  _show off_. I wanted to make him feel as he made me feel last night. Effort was easy here.

"Mmm-ah there!" I came quicker than I thought I would my body trembling as he finished his last few thrust before filling me.

 

He pulled out of me and covered us in the fur which was so soft it reminded me of Robbs fur.

"You know when your in bliss, and were going at it you seem oddly more at peace-happier"

"Shouldn't sex be like that?"

"Sometimes its not, sometimes its passionate, loving even angry."

"Hm" I said shrugging "Your pointe?"

"Your not happy when you ain't fucking."

 

"Maybe your right, I just have a lot on my thoughts normally is all."

"Too much thinking on one thing is bad."

"Why?"

"If you never get away from it, it plagues your whole life."

"What a vicious cycle I'm in."

 

I decided to close my eyes and fade into the blackness of my thoughts. I cleared them allowing nothing but the darkness take me, but that isn't where I went. I didn't dream of blackness... Scales of iridescent colors with eyes like a snake. It called to me and when I didn't answer it-I saw flames. My body jolted and I woke up quick. Body trembling and hot.

"Jon what happened boy?"

"Th-th-fire took me. I saw it I saw a-a dragon!"

"Dragons been dead for years."

"I know but it just... It felt so real. I think I made it angry"

"Thought you liked fire how much you stare into it?"

"What no I don't I just daze off is all." I huffed

"Better listen to your dreams."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't off a dragon." He laughed which brought and irritated a smile on my face. 

* * *

* * *

 

 

**Robb's POV:**

I woke up dizzied and sick, anything I'd eating the night before now gone. My throat felt raw and it was as though my body was falling apart on me. Along side all this I'd been angry- so angry since Jon left. His decision clawed at my guilt and my conscience was on the floor. My thoughts swam to him easily  _warmly_. He was made at me and thought bout sending him a raven something anything. I couldn't bring myself to though, couldn't bare to address it in a letter. An out poor of emotions and then people would know our secret. I have no doubt the Lord Commander would read it. He'd be dumb to trust a letter from some where without reading it. 

So how?

 

Once I pulled myself together as often I did, I went downstairs. Aside from everything that happened with Jon more continued. My father was leaving today for Kingslanding, because Robert Baratheon wanted him to. To serve as his hand, my mother hated that decision but shed have to swallow it. 

"Father be well on your journey." I said to em, he put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Be Winterfells strength."

"Aye father and you don't get to warm in the South. Remember it's still Lannister dirt."

He smirked 

Rickon cried and Sansa left with him. Seeing as she would be engaged to Joffery.  _An idea I loathe_

 

Theon glanced at me, probably sensing something wrong. He followed me to my study.

"Your fathers leaving and you seem to care a lot." He said sarcastically

"I'll miss him-yeah, but what are you expecting me to do cry?" 

"No its just, you know what I mean."

 

"Yeah well I'm still-"

"Bitter about Jon? Hells Robb forget about em it was never going to last."

"Why's that?"

"Cause your cock craves more than men and you'll be married one day. To a women."

 _I never once considered that, never considered marriage when I was with Jon, but was I foolish not to?_  

 

"I'm going to see him Theon." I said turning to look at him. His eyes grew wide and his face was surprised.

"What the hell Robb-why? Let him be he's a bast-"

"He was more than that to me dammit. I just need to check on him. See if he's well. I've got a bad feeling about all this and I've been sick ever since."

"Huh lover boy give it another day of thought before you run off chancing someone who don't want you." He shook his head

"Then will you help me leave?" 

 

He looked up at me and I smiled 

"Seven hells-fine, you just come back sooner than later."

"Hells your coming with me." I patted him on the shoulders.

* * *

Evening fell and I dosed off at my desk when Theon stormed in. I sat up shaking the sleep off of me.

"What, what is it?"

"You might be getting your wish."

"What do you mean?"

"A raven came and no one can find Jon. They lost him North of the wall." 

"What? Theon we have to go."

"I know come one, I have out horses packed now." 

 

"Leave word to my mother."

"Already written, but your not going to like this."

I looked into his eyes there was anxiety and anger running threw me and my blood began to boil at the thought of what he was going to tell me. 

 

"Your father already knew, he kept the letter. I took it off his desk when he wasn't looking."

_I blew up_

I knocked everything off my desk breathing hard. Theon grabbed me "This won't find your lover-come on Robb"

I knodded and we left in the night with one goal on my mind

 

 

_Jon_

* * *

* * *

* * *

**Jon's POV**

We were dressed now and ready to head out. The storm lightened and now I was going to finally find the Nights Watch men. I worried they had been harmed or worse, but Tormund assured me I was the lost one and that he'd help lead me back to them. Considering he knew these ands better than any of us. I looked at him once more before we left the cave.

"You ready boy or are you horny again." He joked...  _I think?_

I smiled "Let's go Giantsbane."

______________________________________________________________________________

All the while we walked all I could think about was how in a manner of a few days 3 or 4 I'd given up my virginity to a wildling of all people. I didn't even care what he was. It was what he could do to me that brought a tingle to my lips. His body on mines.  _Holding me, touching me, fucking me._ I didn't realize it but I bit my bottom lip and for a moment he looked at me and with a smirk said "Got me on your mind do you boy?"

"Aye, I'm starting to think I have a one track mind."  _What possessed me to be honest like that? Maybe its because he's seen me naked and I him._

"We've been walking for 3 hours and this is all you've thought bout. Wonderful, means I've satisfied you well pup."

"Has it really been 3?"

He knodded

 

 

 

"We've got a little while before we stop."

"Will it be some where warm?"

"Oh don't worry I can  make you warm boy."

 

He leaned down and kissed my neck sending a delicious and familiar reminder to my body of what was to come later.

"Shall we." He said looking down on me.

"Lead the way."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. If It Feels Good Then Do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tormund you don't understand-how can you speak on something you don't understand?"  
> "Easy he hurt you, what's complicated about that?"  
> "H-he was my brother."

Walking in snow for hours was unsettling, it was mostly annoying, but with Tormund it was bearable. We talked about things. Things like fighting and how different the style of fighting was between Free folke and the men of the Nights Watch. He educated me on the simple fact that they were just as much apart of the North as us, They were born here and had always been. I understood it.  _or rather he was helping me understand it._

 

"Fucking heals things yes."

"In your words it does."

"Tell me boy."

"Yeah?"

"You said you'd done things before me fucking you, who was he?" He smirked wiggling his eye brows as we walked inside a cave to set up camp for the night. 

 

"Firstly you have such away with words." I teased sarcastically.

"Oh why thank you pup." He played along 

"He was close to me, I thought he was a relief from everything I'd experienced my whole life there. For a moment in time he was, but then.."

"It didn't work out?"

"He was with another." I snarled a little trying to hide my bitterness.

 

"Ah, and so you him this, stable boy?"

"Not a stable boy? Hate him? No, but I would never put myself in a situation with him again."

"You've forgiven him then?"

"Well yes, I believe so." I lit the wood starting an instantly warming fire. My skin adhered to the feeling of fire and heat quite often. 

 

"No you haven't." He said easily, breaking my train of thought and pulling me away from the fire. 

"Why do ya think that?" 

"Cause if you'd forgiven him it wouldn't make you so bitter bringing him up, this must've been recent."

"Are you psychic now?"

He chuckled, "No boy, your just easy for me to read." 

 

"Well if you don't forgive him, I hate em." 

I smiled shaking my head." 

"Did you love em?"

I froze.

 

"Love is strong, cared about him."

"More than he cared about you."

"Tormund you don't understand-how can you speak on something you don't understand?"

"Easy-he hurt you, what's complicated about that?" He shrugged.

"H-he was my brother."

 

Tormund knodded, "Ah now I see... So you and your kin fell for each other, so you love him not just as a lover but as your brother. He must've forgotten the brother part."

I looked down, my head was cloudy now. I had told someone other than Sam about me and Robb. Same may have been understanding but that don't mean Tormund would. That was stupid of me. He'll probably be disgusted with me. 

 

"You must think of me as a deviant."

"Boy I don't even know what that means." He laughed breaking the tension in my heart. He was laughing, how was he able to be so... Words can't say.

"Your seriously laughing?"

"Absolutely, and you should more too. Look it doesn't mater about you and your half brother, I can't speak for something you felt for em. But hells Jon no one has the right to hurt  another soul who cares for them. Just think, at least you didn't fuck the ass hole -ha ha." 

He returned that fallen smile on my face, _I'm so happy I have him now._

"You cold pup?"

I looked up into his eyes and I could see the want for  _me_ in them. As he drank his liquor his eyes only poured into my own. In a manner of a few hours I had gone from freezing, happy, bitter, sad and ashamed, then now back to happy. Hell and as far as I'm concerned I'm going to keep my bit of happiness for as long as I can stand it. 

"I'm freezing." I answered my voice already raspier and filled with want.

 

 "Then you better take off those clothes." He said voice heavy in my ears. I removed the fur I wore and he his, he collided together like crashing waves on an ocean. My body was weak in his presence. My heart pounded wildly though. He had a good and firm grip on my hair that tightened as he pushed me up against the cave walls.  _Take me now._ My thoughts screamed as he claimed my neck.

"Tormund." I moaned

"Yes boy." 

"P-please." 

"Tell me what you want Jon." He said looking in my dark eyes.

"T-take me now."

 

"Say it, say what you want me to do to you." 

I leaned into his ears as said "I want you to fuck me, fuck me good and hard till I can't remember his name." I leaned back against the wall, my range of emotions today made ,e certain and more sure of what I wanted.

He growled grabbing my waist and thigh as he lifted me up. My legs around his waist as he slickened me up with oil and he fucked into me so good. I moaned louder, as if I was speaking into the stars with my head back against the cave wall.  He was so deep inside me. 

 

"Fuck, you still feel so good and tight." 

"Ah!" I closed my eyes tight, letting waves of constant pleasure rip threw but then he was like a storm my body welcomed. He looked at me and I back down at him as he thrust into me so hard it elicited me clawing his shoulder. 

"Fuck it feels good Tormund, make it harder!" And he did. My body was trembling, it was ache from how yightly I clenched my muscles his more then mines. He viciously attacked my spot and I was at a point where I couldn't even moan. Only gasp as my orgasm upon me, but then he did the cruelest thing to me. He slowed down and I groaned in frustration. 

"No, no fuck, please keep going." 

He breathed against my lips. "Look at me Jon." 

I opened my eyes and pace became tactfully slower.

"We won't make this about him now, just a moment ago when I was fucking you good and hard that was about him. You've already forgotten him now."

I nodded feeling my breath slow down.

 

He thrust into my spot then stopped and it made me yelp.

"This is about you and I now." He did it again thrusting up into me. "Huh-ah" I moaned keeping my eyes on him. 

"Us." I panted and grinded down on him making him moan. "Good boy. Keep going."

 He fucked up into me and my heart did leaps in my chest, this was more than fucking, this had turned into a whole other thing. And I didn't know what it was but I craved it.

 

"Yes, yes Tormund." I gasped for the last time

"Jon" He breathed as he felt my insides pulse around him making him cum inside me. He filled me to the brim. His seed was inside me and mines was on him.

He pulled me  into the deepest kiss I'd ever had. 

 

"It gets better and better with you." I smiled as he let me go gently putting me on the ground. _What strength he had. What care._

"As it should."

"My men would hate me a thousand times if they'd found out what I'm doing out here, with you."

"Hm they would, but if it feels good Jon. Then do it, because it feels so good when you finally do. You owe no one your happiness."

"Your a great teacher."

"You are great pupil then."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with the back at it again! Hoo sexy shit at the end. Let me know what ya think. Has Jon really forgotten Robb is t to late for him? And how hot are you feeling after that scene and those emotions?


	10. Sorry, but

Sorry but, I'm back at it again with the back at it again! I've obviously been MIA guys lifes just been hectic and its calmer now so more chapters to come. Gonna have new one posted today or tomorrow. Just let me know if your still interested in this story cause I am. Love ya


	11. BelongTo You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Jon" Theon's voice fell to a whisper as he gazed at Jon's smiling face. "Your alright-"
> 
> Jon ran his fingers threw his hair looking at the sky, "Tormund can we stop soon? We've been moving all day. It's night time now."  
> "Night time are more enjoyable for us anyway- huh." He smirked giving Jon a quick kiss making Jon blush a bit
> 
> Robb's gonna flip.

"It's night fall Theon, go find fire wood for us and I'll set up camp for the night." Robb order easily.  _How very Lord of Winterfelly of him._ Theon teased mentally.

"Yes your grace." He said with a teasing smirk.

Robb laughed a bit rolling his eyes at his friend before he started to set things up. 

 

Even still one request rested on his lips _. Please be alright my love._ Robb silently prayed with his eyes closed. Just allowing himself a moment. 

* * *

**Theon POV**

 

Mean while Theon went stalking around for fire wood.

I've only been looking for 30 godless minutes. Things were impossible here- colder here to. I had to dig threw the snow and even then branches were wet. Its hard to find dry wood for a burning fire. "Well I'm pissed to say the least." He saw some dry patches so he went looking there near this clearing, but that's when I heard a familiar voice. I just had to move closer to it. I hid behind a tree and kept close to the tree while slowly moving down onto my knees to crawl behind a stone bolder.  _That laugh? Could it be?_  

 

 

 

 

 

_"Jon"_ Theon's voice fell to a whisper as he gazed at Jon's smiling face _"Your alright-"_

 

Jon ran his fingers threw his hair looking at the sky,"Tormund can we stop soon? We've been moving all day. It's night time now."

 

"Night times are more enjoyable for us anyway-huh." He smirked giving Jon a quick kiss making Jon blush a bit.

 

_Robb's gonna flip._ Theon thought.

 

 

Jon looked happy though, even as the wildlings arms in wrapped him. Was he happier than when he was with Robb? Its not often Jon smiles though, the last time he did he was with Robb. I suppose Robb is no longer the only man who can bring a smile to his face now. Who is that man? Theon thought staring at the two. He watched them make camp for the night, then he watched Tormund press Jon against the tree to connect their lips. He watched Jon's mouth open to the mans tongue like a command. The way they even looked at each other was enough for Theon to see that Robb had competition.  _Maybe they haven't-Jon would never. He had hard enough time letting Robb touch em._

 

He thought that until the tall mas hand slid in Jon's pants making him gasp into his mouth.

 

"I'm gonna fuck you good Snow" The heavy voice spoke onto Jon's yearning mouth.

 

"Please" Jon moaned  _begging_

 

My eyes were wide J-jon had given his virginity to this man. who ever he was. I have to tell Robb-I absolutely need to. He eased away from the two but looked back to be sure it was Jon. This was all a lot to take in, and it just had to be me to see it. That pretty mouth certainly belonged to Jon. No questions. 

 

 

 

I ran back, what took me 30 minutes to leave only took 15 to run back to Robb. When I arrived he had a smile on his face that turned to a curious expression.

"R-robb I-I saw them!" I gasped banting on like a mad man. He grabbed my arms looking at me with concern.

"Breathe Theon who-who did you see?"

"Them-"

"Them? Mate your not making sense?" 

"Him." I said steadying myself in his hold. Robbs eyes widened.

"You mean, you say Jon?"

 

"Yesit was him, I saw his face."

"Wait why didn't you bring him-is he mad? Was he upset when he saw you, what was his reaction like? Did you mention me-"

"He was with another man." I blurted out interrupting Robbs scattered thoughts. He paused. 

"Wait what do you mean? Of course he was with someone he's in the Night's Watch."

"That's not what I mean Robb. He- they kissed each other and..."

"And?" He demanded

"I think Jon slept with em already." 

"How do you know that?" 

 

"I don't know I just kind of figured with his hand in Jon's pants. He was talking about fucking em."

"What did Jon say?" 

I looked over at Robb, giving him eyes saying  _You don't want to know that mate._ But Robb was mad with jealousy now. His face changed. 

I sighed giving him the poison he wanted so badly, "Please"  is all Jon said

Robb ran following the smell of my foot steps, but I know the sent on the path I walked couldn't have been great due to the snow. So I followed him. I brought him back to that clearing where I had seen them but I only saw the man. Jon wasn't there. 

 

"Where is he Theon?" 

"I don't know." I whispered back "He was just here."

"I smell em out." 

Robb inhaled deeply his eyes closing as he reveled in the familiar scent of Jon's body. He then turned into a wolf and followed the sent of Jon. While I kept watch of this man.

* * *

* * *

**Jon's POV**

 

I keep having this feeling of dread. I don't know why, but its sinking deep with in me. I gathered some dry wood for a fire. Tormund was waiting on me and I was trying to do this speedily, because I knew Tormund could make the horrid feeling vanish. On my way I killed two rabbits, food had been found luckily. 

"Jon" A voice called to me. Not just any voice but, Robbs. 

I turned around but saw no one. My breath was heavy in my chest. When I turned forward he was there, in front of me. Violet blue eyes burning into my soul.  _Seven hells why now, when all I want to do is move on._

 

"Robb, why are you here? How did you even find me?"

"Father hid a letter from me about your disappearance from the Night's Watch, and so I came. He reached out to me and I took and unexpected pull away from him. His eyes questioned the action but he walked toward me. I walked back, back until the tree held me down. His hands grabbed my face and pulled me into a kiss. It threw me off and I pulled away surprised.

 

 

"Jon, please don't tell me you still mad-"

"I forgave you. It don't mean I forgot brother." 

"Don't call me that must I be only that?" He said frustrated

"And yet you are my brother... and nothing more."

"Who's this wildling savage I hear your with?" 

"Watch it-who told you this?"

"Theon, he saw you two kiss on his way looking for fire wood."

I breathed deeply feeling stressed, at least it wasn't anyone else who saw.

 

 

"His name is Tormund-"

"Tormund? Tormund Giantsbane, the man from those stories?"

"Aye"

"Him of all people, you disgrace yourself Jon. How could you let him of all people touch you, when your a man of the Night's Watch. A son of the Warden of the North-have you lost your wits?" He scolded making me grimace.

 **.   .   .**

 

A long moment passed. I finally spoke breaking the silence. "He helped me and my men when we were attacked by a bear."

He seemed even more mad that he helped me. "What you love em?"

"No we've only just met." 

"And your already fucking him." 

My face was red with embarrassment.   _He knew_

 No sense in denying it now, but to own it. "Yeah I did.    And it felt wonderful." I added bitterly knowing it get to him. 

"You. Are. Mines Jon Snow." He panted

 

 

"I am no ones, you let me go remember that."

"Have you forgotten me so easily  _love?_ "

"Don't call me that, you have no right-"

"I love you Jon." He said kissing me and gripping the back of my neck. 

 

_Please be kind world..._ I begged mentally

 

 He kissed my neck and I gasped. His lips brought back old feelings. Old feelings that I must resist. His hands were just as greedy as his mouth, they clung to me like sticky pearls. 

"Robb please stop."

"I won't." He said palming me threw my britches. 

A moan escaped me and I wanted to chase the feeling, but I just couldn't be weak... I couldn't give myself to him. 

"No Robb stop! This isn't good, this isn't what I want."

"Please Jon." He pleaded kissing me again and I gave in for one _last_ moment. His tongue tangled in mines and I lead the kiss. It was an unsuspected type of dominance unknown to me until now. Robb pulled away breathing heavy amd he looked at me. "Somethings in you shifted Jon. Don't let this man change you." 

"People change, and I am changing a lot. Except that and be my brother."

"And not your lover-"

"No Robb, we must never be that again because, I can't loose you as my brother. Then you'd truly be gone." I pleaded searching is eyes.

"Consider me already gone then Jon. I can't just have you as my brother your not even my whole brother but half. I'm fighting for you as that, but as my love."

"I know you don't mean that."

"More than you know Jon, I mean that. Good bye Jon." He turned from me and I couldn't bare his words but they are just words. I can't get hung up on them or I would leave the Night's Watch running to him.   _My brother_

 

 

But I had knew brothers now. I had a new lover too, so what's keeping me to him other than words & the past? I walked back to the camp sight Tormund made he read my face and expression. Weakly and open as I possibly could I fell into his chest. He pulled me close. Vulnerable for just a second-a night is all I'll allow myself. A night heavy in his arms.

 

"Tormund."

"Yes Jon?"

" _Please_ " 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Who's wrong in this situation Jon or Robb?


	12. New Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Listen to the song-you'll get it;)
> 
>  
> 
> p.s guess which chapter the 1st dream/memory is from?

**Jon's POV: _Dream/Memory_**

 

_"May I kiss you?" he spoke against my lips taking my mouth without my permission, but he needed none to kiss me. I couldn't help myself I gave in allowing myself another moment with him. Once his lips trailed warm kisses down my jaw they turned into paths of fire on my neck. I pulled away but he grabbed my arm roughly._

_"Stop it Robb!" I said frustrated but he continued to kiss my neck allowing his tongue to once again taste me._

_"What if someone. walks. in" My panting made breaks in my sentence._

_"I don't care love, I want to fuck you." He breathed onto my neck. He turned me around and I gripped the end of the bed rails locking me between the bed and him._

_"Please Jon" He groaned already turned on, it was clear in his voice._

_"Do you really want me? Or is this just easy for you?"_

_"Both-I'm kidding Jon." He joked but I rolled my eyes._

_"No, I don't want to."_

_His face changed to anger "Why? Am I not enough?"_

_"Of course you are its just-"_

_"Well what the hell love what is it?"_

_"I'm a virgin."_

 

_"Oh, right you've never done this before. I'm so sorry Jon. I didn't think for a second." He softened_

_"Did you think it was because of a girl?" I smiled_

_"No, trust me Jon I knew you liked men before you walked in the door."_

_"Oh a psychic."_

_"Something like that, love?" He whispered in my ear biting it lightly._

_"Yes darling" I moaned faintly._

_He smiled at the nickname, his attempts to hide his smile was a failure._

 

_"We won't go all the way till your ready-which means I'll have my tail between my legs but we can do other things."_

_"Other things?" I questioned at him._

_"Yeah, well first my mouths going to-"_

 

 **wake up** - 

I woke up breathing heavy as if I'd run threw an entire forest. My breath ragged as I gasped. I sat up leaning forward, running my fingers threw my sweat stained hands. Robb got to me or, maybe seeing him brought this on? 

Yeah that's it! When you see someone its obvious they'd be on your mind. 

-"You alright boy?" Tormund yawned 

"Yeah I'm fine, go back to sleep."

 

That's when he sat up and looked at me.  _Really looked at me._

"No your not, bad dream?"

"Y-yes." I stammered like a lying fool. He just smirked and put his hand on my chest pushing me down on my back. 

"You go back to sleep."

"Aye"

 

I stared out at the land scape before me, wishing on a star I didn't bother to pick from the sky- _more of a plea. Let me sleep._ And with eyes closed I did.

 

**Dream:**

"Why are you denying me love?"

"Don't call me that you don't get to anymore-"

"But you love it and you love me." 

He kissed my lips lightly. 

 

"I keep trying to move forward and not think about you."

"And I keep pulling you back to me, Jon lets be real Tormund will occupy your time-"

"And my bed." I refuted but, he smirked as if knowing something I didn't. He adjusted himself on top of me, slipping between my legs and caressing my face.

"As if you didn't picture me once or twice." 

"Your cruel." I said trying to turn my face away from him but in his tight grasped he kept my face to him and kissed me slipping memories and want in between each kiss. Lustful lies keeping me underneath him. 

When I opened my eyes his violet eyes attacked my heart and I pulled him in kissing him back harder.  _Just to get it out-how bad I had wanted to kiss him that day._

 

 **Wake up-** With passionate regret I wiped my lips when I woke up frustrated.  _I never learn_

I shouldn't write him-I shouldn't be his-I can't let him in or he'll get to me and win. But is that a bad thing? Is Tormund just a distraction? No impossible I feel with him, but I did with Robb too. I'm lost again. Friends? Brothers-Always, lovers again? I'm going outta my mind with these dreams. I just need water, I just need a walk.  _A moment away from Tormund to think and be..._

_Unsure_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always to get more frequent ideas and chapters flowing let your girl know your thoughts;)


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